Post-2015

At midnight I closed the book to my 2015. Before I go out and storm the world for 2016, I have to pause and think about the previous year. My initial thought: “Whoa. What a ride.” My second thought: “Shit, it isn’t over.” 2015 wasn’t just a stand alone book like most of my other years of being alive. It’s part of a short series, and 2016 is part II. I hit a lot of table-turning milestones in part I. I owned my pre-requisistes for getting into PT school. I applied to PT school, and I found three individual programs that I would be so thrilled to get accepted to. I did over 150 observations hours, I bought a new car, and after months of self-rehab I told the pain in my IT band to go fuck itself and am able to run 5ks now, and more importantly out on the trails. To close it out, I saw my best friend in the whole world get engaged. It isn’t every day your eyes swell with tears because of joy.

It was also a year of emotional roller coasters, and ultimately acceptance of how life is. I now know what it  means to love and hate someone at the same time (I think of the whole prior incantantum scene in Harry Potter. There’s all that energy clashing in the middle, eventually knocking you off your feet and leaving you breathless). I’ve also realized that I take myself into consideration more than I realize. Right now, it won’t matter how much I care for someone. I’m remaining firm on my goals, and it would be the highest level of hypocrisy to ask someone else to let go of theirs. I still haven’t decided if that falls into the category of caring or being selfish.

Then, in the middle of these two extremes there’s been everything else. I’ve made more decisions I didn’t put a lot of thought into than people would know me to do. It hasn’t gotten me into trouble, but when one of my closest friends described me as “a handful” I had to laugh. I never thought I’d be the one to develop a freebird mindset, but I can’t say I’m complaining. I’ve had more fun the last year than I’ve allowed myself to have in previous years. Accepting life, and whatever place you find yourself in, is easier than trying to force something that isn’t there, or isn’t right for you.

I don’t make resolutions specifically for the start of a new year, because I always figure “why wait to make improvements you think are necessary?” In light of very recent events though, I don’t think there’s really a better time to start accepting how certain things in life are or are not playing out, and to run with the ones that are, embracing all that makes you makes you smile. Sorry to sound cheesy, but people don’t smile enough anymore. I find this interesting because it really makes life a hell of a lot easier to get through.

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